What Do You Get When You Cross Charlie Sheen With A Briefcase Full of Cocaine?

January 28, 2011 1 comment

Kacey JordanA night with Kacey Jordan and pals.

Not too shabby Charlie.  You stay classy!

Pie, Pie, Oh Wonderful Pie

November 22, 2010 Leave a comment

Great pieWith Thanksgiving coming up, it’s time to think about pie. 

Now, we’re not taking a stand in the pie vs. cake vs. brownie wars, as they’re all wonderful.

A nice pecan pie, pumpkin, or chocolate cream pie.

But mostly this post is just an excuse to show this picture.  Because it looks so delicious.

Carnival Splendor

November 11, 2010 1 comment

imageThe real reason it was “stranded at sea.”

We now know that the so called engine room fire was really not an accident.  It was specifically targeted due to a crew member in the engineering department being infected with an unidentified zombie virus, most likely picked up from zombie hookers in a certain third world country known for spreading the infection.

Fortunately, this gave the authorities the necessary quarantine time to ensure that the rest of the crew and passengers were not exposed.  The delivery of specially treated SPAM further insured that the disease did not spread.

US vs England

June 12, 2010 Leave a comment

imageOh that’s right..

Soccer game today.

Seems they tied it, 1-1.

It Ain’t the Motion in the Ocean

May 6, 2010 Leave a comment

Happiness

A TSA worker in Miami was arrested when he "lost his mind" and attacked a colleague who repeatedly made fun of his small penis after the security screener walked through a high-tech scanner that showed his genitalia, according to Miami-Dade police.

Rolando Negrin, 44, was arrested at Miami International Airport Wednesday morning following an altercation with a fellow screener, Hugh Osorno, Tuesday evening. Negrin is facing assault charges for allegedly beating Osorno with a baton in the airport’s parking lot, NBC Miami reported.

Sometimes… life ain’t fair.

Othertimes… you should know better than going through a full body scanner in front of your co-workers.

Look Out! It’s Loaded!!!

March 16, 2010 Leave a comment

image

A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.

Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.

Lithuanian Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen Sheriff Court and was fined £600.

The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offence at his home in Aberdeen.

Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November.

They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.

Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

I’m not sure what is funnier.  That the cops were called way back in November and were finally showing up, or that she actually had to say she was taking evasive action.

If The Boobs Don’t Fit

March 16, 2010 Leave a comment

image You must acquit, apparently.

A bikini model in Japan has been cleared of property destruction after an appeal court heard that her large breasts meant she couldn’t have committed the crime.

Serena Kozakura – her professional name – was convicted in 2007 of kicking a hole in a man’s door and crawling inside, supposedly because she was angry that he was with another woman.

However, in her defence, her counsel asked the court to compare the size of the hole in the door with Kozakura’s 110cm bust – and suggested that she couldn’t possibly have made it through the gap. Kozakura maintains that the man made the hole himself.

The presiding judge agreed that Kozakura’s bosom made her alleged crime an impossibility, and quashed her conviction.

After the verdict, Kozakura credited her breasts with the victory.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.